Fight the Power

I've seen a number of articles recently about under-represented groups in running. There are really cool articles about African-Americans in running, people who run with prosthetics, and legally blind people like David Patterson, the new Governor of New York State.

There are also articles about non-skinny runners, slow runners, and other people who don't fit the standard image that we all picture when we think "runner".

All of that's good, but I'd like to bring up another under-represented and (I would argue) oppressed group within the running community. I feel very strongly about this, because I'm one of them.

I'm talking about Runners Who Are Not Morning People.

Seriously, what's the deal with all of these peppy early morning runners? Oh, sure, they like to bitch and moan about their schedules, but it's clearly just bragging. "Man, it was tough waking up at 4:30 so that I could eat a full breakfast, do my taxes, and read the rest of War and Peace before hitting the road at six."

Six? Six?!? The best thing I'd like to say about six in the morning is that it was still 4 hours before I woke up.

Six. Give me a break.

Many of you reading this (... he writes, as if it's more than 2 people ...) may fit into that morning-runner category. Let me try to make this a little clearer. Here's what you think you're saying:

"I love going jogging in the morning when the air is brisk, and you can feel a certain crispness in the breeze. I love it when the roads are empty, and the clear light is filtering through the quiet, slowly waking world."

Here's what a person like me hears:

"I am completely insane. I hear voices and they tell me what to do. At any moment I may take out an ax and attack you. Coo-coo! Coo-coo! I'm a little teapot, short and stout... Wait! I'm receiving an important message from the Planet Zirqon!"

Unfortunately, the running world is dominated by morning people. They set the times for road races ("Let's make it at 7 am, so that everyone can really enjoy themselves! Hold on a sec... I'm receiving another message from Zirqon."), and there's nothing that the rest of us can do about it.

Why does this happen? My personal suspicion is that they have their planning meetings in the early morning too. I'm picturing a meeting of 4 chirpy, happy morning people sitting around a table at 5:30 in the morning, having already decided on the calendar, as the first non-morning person drags him or herself in in a desperate bid to stave off the inevitable. ("Gosh, Sally, it's a shame you weren't here earlier when we figured out the entire year's schedule. But now that you're here, let's go running!")